


a degree of difficulty

by oopsabird



Category: DCU, Wonder Woman (2017), Wonder Woman - All Media Types
Genre: Anxiety, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Ficlet, Friendship, Gen, M/M, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Pre-Slash, i guesS??????, sober Charlie, this is a hard one to tag cause its short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-27
Updated: 2018-08-27
Packaged: 2019-07-03 04:59:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15811866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oopsabird/pseuds/oopsabird
Summary: Without the drink to cloud his judgement, Charlie finds himself prone to worry.or;A small cutscene preceding the battle at the airfield; a moment of reassurance.





	a degree of difficulty

**Author's Note:**

> Somehow, I'm still hopelessly stuck on this little group of characters, particularly these two. This sat in my drafts for the entire summer, and then today while working on something else I went back to it and realized it was already nearly done. And now it is entirely so, and my summer hiatus is broken!
> 
> Title is from the song ["Little Hell" by City And Colour](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HD0vcAwHN7s), a song I adore which hits me right in the Charlie feels. The start of this fic lifts a few phrases of dialogue directly from the movie to set the scene and get the ball rolling - I claim no ownership to any of those.

 

* * *

_"We developed a firm, practical feeling of solidarity, which grew on the battlefield into the best thing that the war produced - comradeship in arms."_

_-Erich Maria Remarque, 'All Quiet on the Western Front'_

* * *

 

        As the trio makes their way into the German compound to find Steve and Diana, Charlie can feel his heart hammering in his chest and pounding in his ears. 

        Even after a day of adjusting to sobriety, sensations still feel just a bit too sharp, everything crisp and a little overwhelming; after nearly four years in a haze, the sudden transition back to lucidity has been like whiplash. It doesn’t help that his hands keep shaking at random intervals, that he feels nauseous every fifteen minutes and gets dizzy when he stands up too fast. Sobriety very nearly isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

        But then he glances at his friends running alongside him, and feels, really _feels_ the wind on his face, the way his heart soars a little bit to know they’re by his side; and he thinks maybe the withdrawal symptoms are worth it after all.

        They spot Steve climbing down from a watchtower just inside the ruined fence and run to his side, keeping to the shadows as Charlie keeps watch in as many directions as he can.

        “Guys! Over here!” Steve beckons them with a wave of an arm and a carrying whisper. As they get closer and stop in front of him to take up watch positions, Charlie can tell he looks relieved to see them, if a little shaken up.

        “Where’s Diana?” Sami asks, peering around behind Steve as if he might be hiding her somewhere.

        “We’re on our own.”

        “What?!” Charlie feels the bottom drop out of his already uneasy stomach; he can see the looks of startled confusion on Chief and Sami’s faces. No Diana? What happened to her?

        “Charlie, what do you see?” Steve is clearly not going to elaborate on the bombshell he just dropped; he’s all business again, looking at Charlie expectantly. Charlie turns away and raises his scope to his eye, praying for his hands to stay steady.

        “Looks like a bunch of gas bombs, but... I cannae see where they’re takin’ them.”

        “How’re we gonna get in there?” Chief asks, half musing and half bewildered.

        There is a moment of silence as they all watch the almost frantic hustle and bustle of the men in the base, and then,

        “I have an idea - come on guys!” Sami turns and dashes back towards the fallen German soldiers they had passed on the way in, dropping his rifle and beginning to unbutton his coat. The others gasp in comprehension as they realize his plan.

        “That’ll work,” Steve mutters, smiling slightly.

        The three of them race over to join Sami, dropping their gear and beginning to unfasten their own coats. Charlie gets his jacket and ammo belt off, but somehow the simple fastening at the neck of his weather cloak fights against his suddenly shaking fingers, refusing to come undone. It frustrates him, and he finds himself struggling.

        “Having trouble, Charlie?” Chief says, his almost teasing tone only further fueling Charlie’s self-directed temper.

        “I’m sorry, I dunno why my hands are so clumsy-” he yanks at the neck of the garment, which feels now as if it might be getting tighter. “Ach, bloody fuck, c’mon ye stupid-”

        “Hey, hey hey hey,” suddenly two hands are covering his as Sami steps in front of him, pulling them down from his neck. “Let me get that.”

        “No it’s fine, I can-”

        “Charlie, hey, _hey!_ “ Sami’s voice is painfully gentle, but it cuts through the haze of frustration like a knife, and Charlie freezes. “Let me.”

        “Alright. Alright,” Charlie acquiesces, dropping his hands to let Sami work. He takes a deep breath and keeps his gaze fixed just to the left of Sami’s head, avoiding his eyes. He tries not to think of the fear set in his heart by Steve’s pronouncement that they were on their own, without Diana. Of course, this only leads to it being forefront in his mind, so he scrambles for something to say as a distraction. “You- you know I cannae speak even a lick o’ German, right?”

        Sami’s lips quirk up in a smile, as he finally gets the neck button of the cloak undone and sweeps it off of Charlie’s shoulders. “I know. Do not worry, the rest of us will be right there with you.” He folds the cape neatly before setting it gently aside on the ground, a little gesture of care that makes Charlie’s heart twist stupidly in his chest.

        “So you’re gonna look out for me, is that it?” Charlie smiles back, a little shaky, while Sami’s back is turned picking up a German coat for Charlie to use.

        “Of course,” Sami stands and turns back, holds up the coat for Charlie to slide his arms through one sleeve, then the other. He pulls the lapels together over Charlie’s chest to start on the buttons, and his gaze flicks up to meet Charlie’s for a moment; there’s a warmth there that makes something dangerous spark in the pit of Charlie’s stomach when Sami smiles. “You know I will always have your back.”

        Charlie’s thoughts go instantly to yesterday, to the square in Veld and Sami saving his life. Today has been so long, it feels like a lifetime ago, yet for all the danger it has been almost a good day - with Diana leading them, and his friends by his side, Charlie has sung and smiled more in the past day than he has in three years. He has Diana to thank for inspiring him, for encouraging him to go on - but without Sami, he would’ve never made it far enough for her to ever get the chance.

        Now that he’s sober, Charlie is realizing just how much Sami has done for him in recent years, just how much those actions mean to him, how much _Sami_ means to him. Suddenly all those feelings are bubbling up to the surface, the need to get them out and make them heard almost urgent in the face of the danger they’re about to run into. Steve told them what happened to the village - this gas leaves no survivors.

        “Look, Sami, I just wanna say-”

        “Guys, c’mon! We don’t have time for chit-chat, we need to _move!_ ” Steve’s hissing voice cuts through the moment like a knife, shattering it on impact as Sami turns away over his shoulder.

        “Just a minute, _s’il vous plait!_ ” Sami hisses back, hurriedly finishing the last button of Charlie’s coat. He nods at Charlie’s headdress, “Take off your cap,” and turns away to the fallen German once again.

        Charlie obliges wordlessly, swiping his _glenn_ off his head to stuff it into the stolen coat’s pocket. He is glad the light is low here, otherwise Sami could surely see the embarrassed flush on his cheeks at the thought of what he’d been about to say (he isn’t sure exactly what the words were, but here outside the moment he’s quite certain he would’ve regretted it).

        “Put this on,” Sami says, turning back to him with the German’s metal helmet in his hands and two gas masks tucked under his arm.

        “What for?” Charlie blinks, confused.

        “Do not take this the wrong way, _chéri_ , but you have excessively noticeable hair.” Sami’s eyes flick to the top of Charlie’s head, eyebrows raising. “Not great for undercover.”

        “Oh, right.” Charlie chuckles as he takes the helmet and mask pressed into his hands. “Um, thank you. Truly. Thanks. For- for everythin’.” It’s not enough, not by a mile, but at least he’s said this much now, in case tonight is all they get.

        Sami blinks in surprise and then suddenly seems to understand; a wider smile spreads across his face, and he gently squeezes Charlie’s hand where it lies beneath his own on the surface of the helmet. He opens his mouth to speak, but before he can get a word out Steve calls out again.

        “Guys come on! Are you ready or what?”

        Sami sighs, rolls his eyes with a fondly exasperated look that only Charlie can see. “So impatient, that boy,” he whispers, with a spark in his eye like it’s an inside joke just for the two of them, and in that instant Charlie feels the absolutely lunatic urge to just kiss him, right then and there. The thought thrills and terrifies him and he tries to quash it down immediately, almost relieved when Sami releases his hand and takes a step back. And yet-

        “Sami wait.” It comes out a little louder than intended, and even Steve and Chief look up from their conversation. Sami is watching him expectantly.

        “Yes?” Sami says, stepping back towards Charlie again with his gas mask held in both hands. He looks uncharacteristically anxious, like he’s somehow nervous about what Charlie might say.

        “I- well I-“ Charlie still can’t say it, he’s not as brave as he thought, so he takes up the next most frightening thought on his mind. “What if I freeze up again, like yesterday? I can’t- I don’t wanna get any of you hurt.” If Diana really has left them on their own, then there is no miracle ready to step in and save the day if he fails them this time; no backup plan to guarantee that if he falls short of expectations, his friends won’t die. The clasp on the helmet he holds has started to rattle, as his hands begin to shake.

        Sami glances back at the other two, who are watching with somewhat uneasy expressions; upon seeing Steve open his mouth about to speak, Sami drops his mask and turns back to Charlie, placing both hands on his shoulders and looking him straight in the eye as he speaks.

        “Listen Charlie, I trust you. Alright? I have trusted you all these years through everything, and I trust you now. We all do. If you say you cannot shoot, we won’t ask you to. And if you say you cannot come any further than this, we will not ask that either.” He squeezes Charlie’s shoulder in reassurance. “Please, do not throw your life away just to prove some kind of point.”

        “No, I don’t wanna be a coward, I shouldn’t-”

        “Hey, you are _not_ a coward.” The set of Sami’s brow is stern, though his eyes are still gentle. “Could any coward have come this far, through all we have already faced? Of course not, _mon ami_. Of course not.” He shakes his head, squeezes Charlie’s shoulder again as he smiles. “Whatever you choose next Charlie, you are still a brave man to me. Whatever you choose, I trust you.” He holds Charlie’s gaze, steady and sure, and Charlie knows then that even the greatest actor in the world couldn’t falsify the honest, sincere faith that shines in Sami’s eyes.

        Charlie’s own eyes are stinging suddenly, vision blurring, and he has to swallow around a lump in his throat before he can get any words out.

        “I’ll- I’ll come with you,” he says, nodding shakily. “I know I can do it, I do, I just- I just don’t wanna let you all down.”

        Sami looks at him for a second, a million emotions welling in his eyes, then he abruptly pulls Charlie into a hug. It’s a little awkward and lopsided, with the helmet and gas mask cradled in Charlie’s arm pushed to one side between them; still it makes Charlie’s heart leap and burn in his chest, the feeling wild and vicious and _alive_.

        “You won’t,” Sami says, his voice a little thicker than it was before as he squeezes Charlie tight, and Charlie lets his fingers curl into the fabric of Sami’s stolen coat, clinging on for dear life as he chokes back tears. Over his shoulder Charlie can see Steve and Chief blinking a bit too rapidly as they stare pointedly at the sky and the ground.

        Sami clears his throat and steps back, smoothing down the rumpled shoulder of Charlie’s stolen coat with one hand and avoiding his eyes. “Look, do not blame yourself if things go south, alright? This is a tricky situation where a lot can go wrong, that’s not on you. Just do what you can, and you will never let us down. Okay?”

        Charlie swallows hard. “Alright,” he says, nodding and drawing himself up straight as he tries to believe it. “Alright, I’ll try. Since you asked so nicely.” He smiles shakily, trying for a joke.

        Sami grins, bright and wonderful. “That’s the spirit!” He claps Charlie on the shoulder, moving beside him to gently begin pushing him back towards the others. “Besides, everything will be fine, thanks to my brilliant plan.”

        “Which is...?” Steve steps forward expectantly, and the four of them form an impromptu huddle at the base of the tower, ready to discuss.

        Sami flashes a dazzling grin, already back in full mission mode once again. “Genius, as always.”

        “Well, let’s have it then,” Chief says dryly, leaning back and folding his arms.

        “Of course,” Sami says, and launches into explanation of what they will have to do in order for their disguises to get them inside undetected.

        Charlie listens intently, the steady presence of Sami’s shoulder pressed against his acting as a grounding rod for the sharp-edged anxiety still buzzing through his veins. He is here, he is alive, with his friends safe beside him. They’ve faced down terrible things before, and always come away only a little worse for wear even without superhuman help - he tells himself today won’t be any different.

        As a team, they can do anything.

**Author's Note:**

> Lets just pretend the movie ends there and everyone stays alive and is somehow happy! Yeah? Yeah I say we should do that. (Poor Steve. Poor Steve's friends. Poor everyone) ~~Also, pretend you don't notice me writing from Charlie's POV as an excuse to cathart out my own massive crush on Sameer as a character~~
> 
> If this made you think or feel anything at all, I crave the sweet sweet dopamine rush of validation and would love to hear it! 
> 
> Find me shouting into the void on tumblr [@oopsabird](https://oopsabird.tumblr.com/)


End file.
